it’s been an "alexander" type of day.

by @according2kelly on April 17, 2008

lately i’ve been fighting the blues. i just kinda feel like i’m slowly drowning. but i try not to let it show… that’s what i do, what i’ve always done. i like to build a wall or fortress around myself, slowly shutting out friends, family & the world. i can feel it happening. so i’m trying hard to combat it. each and every day i wake up & try to put on a brave face. i try to think of all the things i’m grateful for, for all of the wonderful blessings and opportunities i have & have had throughout my life. and most days i manage to come out on top. but not today.

this morning i woke up early, after a completely unrestful night of sleep. during my morning run my nano was unsuccessful in performing it’s one duty: helping me zone out. instead of jamming to my tunes, my mind was filled with thought & worries… mostly revolving around the fact that my job, that provides our only source of income, is more than likely going to be “cut back”. sure i’ll still have a job, but my pay & hours are going to be cut in half. super great! but i was also worried and wondering about jeffy & his newest business venture, as well as the trials and tribulations of several of our close friends and family.

after dealing all morning with two cranky little boys i brilliantly decide to cut my own bangs – yeah, not one of my brightest ideas ever. later on, gavin conveniently forgot that we (& i say “we” because everyone knows it definitely is a group effort) were potty training, & decided to go in his underwear. he did remember to tell me that he was stinky, so i guess that’s better than nothing.

i made a quick trip down to the post office. (why is it always so busy?) thinking i was smart, i waited in the line to use the automated machine, only to reach the front of the line & realize that my packages were too big. so then i had to go get in line once again. i then drove down to an out-of-the-way yarn shop, hoping to pick a few pointers from a crochet guru. unfortunately, no one in the entire store, knew how to crochet. they were all knitters, but they suggested i could come back tonight.

i got home from my errands. walked in the door & looked in the mirror for the first time since the bang incident & realized i totally had raccoon eyes. (mental note… i really need to find a new mascara. recently my BADgal just doesn’t seem to be doing the job anymore.) i then started getting dinner ready, i was taking dinner over to a girlfriend who just had a baby. about halfway through my preparations i realized i hadn’t gotten enough cream of chicken soup. i knocked on all my neighbor’s doors, & came up empty-handed. so, i’m crossing my fingers hoping dinner tasted okay. while dinner was cooking, gavin once again had to use the “facilities”. unfortunately, he didn’t quite make it in time, so he left a big puddle in the bathroom (at least he made that far, that’s progress). however, owen, being the typical younger brother that he is, was quick to follow gavin. he stepped in the puddle, & then slipped and fell into it. while i was cleaning up the mess, owen must have decided that my cell phone needed a bath because i found him washing it in the sink. in the meantime, gavin tried to flush owen’s paci down the toilet – luckily i caught him in time.

we arrived home from delivering our dinner, a very pleasant car trip, complete with screaming children & my two year old crying out “what the hell”. (okay seriously, i don’t say it that often.) our dinner was a big hit… both boys dumped their entire plates on the ground. gavin wanted chocolate milk in his new spiderman cup (the one i bought without realizing it didn’t have a lid), so it really came as no surprise when owen turned it upside – yet another puddle to clean up. by 7:30 pm i was ready to put both kids in bed (something that doesn’t usually happen until at least 8 pm, & that’s on a good day).

so just like alexander, i’ve had a terrible, horrile, no good, very bad day. i think maybe, i’ll move to australia.

on the bright side… chelsey brought me a candle that smells mm! mm! good. okay, so i guess it wasn’t all bad.

30 comments
Lindsey
Lindsey

I am sorry, I am glad you got your bangs and mascara worked out... I hope you get your work situation worked out too. There is nothing like getting support from the blogging community though..

Laurie
Laurie

You weren't kidding! I can totally relate to your boys exploits. I completely understand how the consistency of one disaster after another promotes the blues. I was right with you a week ago. I wasn't praying for my trials to stop - I was just praying for different ones.You are completely fabulous and will most certainly get through this period of time a stronger and wiser woman, no doubt.I'm sorry to hear about your job. I know that's a stress you could do with out.I love all your fashion and food posts, but I enjoy getting a glimps of what's in your head a little better. Hang in there and know that you are valued!

Dancin Queen
Dancin Queen

I know I'm a little late, but I'm sorry about the blues. You're an amazing woman, so keep your chin up. I'm sure it will get better. I hope the job thing works out for you.

Bridget
Bridget

Oh, what an awful day. I am so sorry. Blogging is such a great way to get support. Because like you said, if someone asked you how you were you would say "fine." But on a blog post you can be totally honest.Hope you're weekend has great things in store!

Kimberly
Kimberly

Oh Kelly, I hope the rest of your week goes MUCH BETTER. I absolutely despaired of my son ever being potty trained. I was sure he'd go to school in diapers! It took MONTHS. But then one day it was like a light switched on in his little head and he never had an accident again. So there's hope! And speaking from the other side of parenthood, I can tell you although I don't miss those days when the kids were little and everything seemed to go wrong, I do miss the time with my kids. But this weekend I get to see both my kids! YEAH!

HeAtHeR*
HeAtHeR*

Kelli! sorry to hear about your terrible day...can I do anything to help??? maybe a girls night out! here's to hoping today was better! Cheers!

Traci
Traci

Sorry to hear about your day, and hoping that today brought you a better day with a night full of good restful sleep too! I love that book by the way!Love the documentation about your boys! Hopefully they did go to bed a little early and you get a nice relaxing evening, maybe with a great book and bubble bath!

Kerry
Kerry

cheer up charlie

Summers Camp
Summers Camp

Well, that just plain sucks! Sorry you had such a craptastic day. Keep that pretty little chin of yours up, as much as you can. *B

Tina
Tina

I'm a constant visitor to your site and I can relate. I have those days often. Thanks for sharing yours.

mama jo
mama jo

i'm sorry...can i help you do anything? one day those boys will grow up and turn out as great as you did...so hang in there..

TftCarrie
TftCarrie

Sorry to hear about your crappy day. Someone needed to bring you dinner! At least you can go over to Tales and read about how everyone LOVES your jewelry.

i'm kelly
i'm kelly

a million thanks to everyone for all your sweet words of inspiration. it's funny... i'm not one to "talk about my feelings". that's just not the type of personality i have. i'd rather keep things bottled up. even yesterday, after all that had happened, if you happened to ask me how i was doing, i would have told you "fine" or "great". but for me writing it all down is such a different matter. for me this whole blog thing is my diary of sorts, and if people happen to read it & weigh in on my thoughts all the better. but it's a forum i love. i can put everything out there on the line, and look at all this love & support! you guys are awesome!as many of you pointed out, hopefully today will be better. the skies are blue, the sun is shining & we had thinnies for breakfast. already things are looking up. (as long i don't remember that i just found a tick on the inside of my kitchen window screen & if i can forget that owen opened the shutters in my bedroom just as i dropped the towel in order to get dressed, & i ended up flashing the entire neighborhood. nothing says "GOOD MORNING" like a naked lady in the window across the street.)thanks again for all your words of wisdom & as kristen said, some days are like that... even in australia.

Aranne and Dan
Aranne and Dan

I repeat what everyone else has said. I think everyone has those days. If it helps.. reading your story put a smile on my face because it helps me realize we are all NORMAL and all have trials and are dealing with daily drama. Don't worry, this too shall pass!

Shannon
Shannon

O Kelly! I'm so sorry you had a horrible day yesterday! At least you know you are not alone. Moms all over the world have those days! Good luck with the toilet training. He'll get it - and soon - I'm sure! I have a friend I work with who is about 50. She has children that are now in college and tells me that it WILL get better. She always seems so positive now but assures me that she wasn't like that when her kids were litte (at least not ALL the time). I can only look forward to that, because I, too, seem to have these days more often then I would like. Hope today has been better!

the hogan's
the hogan's

Ive had a terrible, horrible, no good very bad week too! Youre not alone!

Kirsten Sue
Kirsten Sue

Yes I have those days all the time especially when the post office is involved. I hate lines. The good news about bad days is it usually means a really good day is right around the corner! Hang in there!

Lexi & Josh
Lexi & Josh

Oh I'm sorry!!! I hate those days! Hopefully soon you will look back on this day and laugh!

Erika
Erika

Not even sure who I linked you through, but just had to comment. Hope you don't mind that I was chuckling through your post because it sounds SO FAMILIAR! I sure seem to have my share of days like that (although yours was particularly good/bad). I have 3 little ones--oldest 4--and I guess that is just our stage of life right now. But I was so impressed that you started the day looking for things to be grateful for--you seem like such a great person. And aren't you glad we're writing this all down? Because it really is funny...

sparks fam
sparks fam

Wow! I read your blog this morning and almost thought I was reading a page from my journal (if I actually kept a journal). Why do we have to have such crappy days? What the hell! :)As for the mascara I do have one recommendation. I LOVE Supernova by Fresh. It's a spendy ($25) but I'm telling you one swipe of the wand on your lashes and you will feel like the most glamorous person around. (Okay...it might take more than ONE swipe...but you get the idea.) Oh yes...it's sold at Sephora.Today will be better...it has to be...right?!(So I totally don't know but found your blog one day while blog hopping.)

Becky
Becky

Alexander must be contageous, because I had one of those days yesterday- although not as many fun events as you! Hope you feel better soon!

Alicia
Alicia

I feel ya. I have those days all too often it seems. ((hugs))

Ashlee
Ashlee

I remember the Alexander book you speak of. I've had more days like that than I can remember. The days you just want to throw your hands up in the air and say "I give up!" I hope today has a happy rainbow in it for you. Maybe then you will find your pot of gold. :0)

love.boxes
love.boxes

Oh my goodness Kelly. That was a bad one.. there is only one way to go today and that's up! ONWARD my friend.. you have the resources to make it great!

Darilyn
Darilyn

What a day. And I'm glad you shared this. It not only helps those of us that have similar feelings but it's also helpful to you to get it out. I just have to make a comment about the raccoon eyes. I have this problem just about every day of my life. I"m not sure why, I think it's the length of my lashes. For years I used the Mary Kay flawless mascara because that was the only one that didn't do that. Then they changed their formula and I've been searching ever since for one that works again without spending a small fortune. Lancome works, it really does if you can bring yourself to spend that much for a mascara. I'm still searching for one that doesn't give raccoon eyes without costing tons so if you find one pass it on to me!

jessi
jessi

YUCK! I'm sorry!

Jessica
Jessica

Hugs. I had a terrible Tuesday myself, although luckily it didn't involve any bodily fluids. I get to leave work today by noon to await the satellite guy at home. I've never been so glad to have technical difficulties.

Jessi
Jessi

No kidding it was an Alexander day!!! Yikes. But, even on your "worst" days you are inspiring. Thanks for letting the rest of us know that we're not alone.

kristen
kristen

well some days are like that....even in Australia. J/k I know EXACTLY how you feel, I had a day like this only a few days ago. I have given up my days of cutting my own bangs many many MANY years ago due to unfortunate outcomes, but I do have a child potty training and let me tell you it's one of the most frustrating things I've had to do since my child was born!! Some days are good, some days are bad, and some days suck royally, but as long as the good outnumber the bad then we are ok. I don't know you personally, but I am completely sure that you are a great person, a great mom, and a great wife (I can tell). You have a lot of people that love you and that I'm sure would be willing to help in your time of need...and if not, I'm willing! You have my e-mail. Feel better soon!

swisskiwis
swisskiwis

nah, not Australia...there, you'd have to fight poisonous snakes and spiders on top of everything else. (((HUGS))) to you, my virtual friend. I know the feeling of "sinking" so well--and to me, it's a very helpless feeling, 'cause I can sense it, but I can't help it or stop it.I would give you some advice, but I know that when I get advice, I just think "yeah, riiiiight..." (not sure if you're like that at all?)--so I'll just say: you matter. To me. You're loved. By me. You're prayed for. By me.:)

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