i think i’m crazy. really & truly, i’m pretty sure that i’m certifiably insane. don’t believe me? just ask my family. i doubt they’d have any problem locking me up & throwing away the key these days. as a means of protecting YOU from my lunacy, i haven’t been posting very much lately… i wouldn’t want to scare you away, but i just don’t think i can hide it anymore.
my mother always warned me that the third baby killed her, & i’m starting to see what she means. besides being crazy, i’m grumpy & crabby all the time. my body & health are shot – when i’m not hobbling around like a 90 year old woman, i’m coughing up a lung. recently, the coughing has gotten so bad i’ve resorted to sleeping on the couch downstairs, in hopes that some distance will let everyone else in the family sleep. i haven’t cooked in weeks, possibly even months. it’s sad that my four-year old’s response to “what do you want to eat?” results in a long list of restaurants. my house is a disaster… moving the boys into one room has erupted into an explosion of “stuff” that has slowly taken over everything. it literally looks like a bomb has gone off. i’ve pretty much lost control of everything these days, including my bladder.
& while i’m sure you’re ready to agree i’m definitely toeing the line with sanity, the only thing keep me on this side of sane quite possibly is “the list”. you know, that incredibly long list of things that need to get done before the baby comes. my list is probably as long as santa’s, which is a touch overwhelming. but remember, these days i’m living simply. so, instead of looking at the big, huge, daunting picture, i’m taking things one day at a time. hopefully, i’ll be able to learn & thing or two from bob, as i practice my “baby steps”.
hopefully i haven’t scared you off yet. hopefully you’ll come back tomorrow. but just in case you are sick of my complaining, tired of listening to me rant & would probably agree that i’m crazy – check back in a month or so, i’m hoping by then i’ll be back to my normal self.
image via here.