the truth about motherhood.

by @according2kelly on July 9, 2009

going on month number two in little charlie’s life, i still find myself pretty much housebound. that’s right, i haven’t quite gotten the hang of taking three kids out on the town. & as much as i’d prefer to be crafting, holding my little baby, doesn’t leave much time for projects. so, these days i find myself watching lots of tv. did you happen to catch oprah’s the truth about motherhood episode? maybe it’s just the stage (of life) i’m in right now, but i swear the entire show was the extension of an on-going conversation playing inside my head. everything they said, i could totally relate to… “oprah is saluting moms everywhere and letting them know they have support. ‘we hear from mothers all the time who say they feel alone. they feel overwhelmed; they feel sometimes inadequate. and you say you’re afraid to admit the truth for fear of bing judge,” oprah says. ‘so today we’re creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes.”

when they said “the expectations we have on ourselves is completely unrealistic. this generation of women was raised to believe that we should and could do it all… and that list (of expectations) is so huge that we think if we can’t live up to that, then we’re not good moms.” i wanted to shout: AMEN! & i couldn’t agree more with the idea that “the one universal truth about motherhood seems to be that no one ever tells you what to really expect.” so, today, i too am “creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes”. & although i LOVE being a mom, (i really, really do!), sometimes, i wish i had been more prepared for motherhood, if you know what i mean. so, here are some of the truths about motherhood, that no one remembered to tell me. maybe someone else can benefit, or possibly at least relate…

* every woman doesn’t LOVE being prego. there definitely are some women who do, but i wasn’t one of them. i hated getting fat, i never had that “pregnancy glow”. all in all, pregnancy isn’t exactly my favorite stage in life.
* recovery AFTER the delivery can sometimes be harder, and worse, than the actual delivery. (i was put on bed rest for 6 weeks after i had gavin.)
* stay in the hospital as long as possible. you might be bored & lonely, but when you go home, you’re on your own. at least in the hospital you can call a nurse for help.
* i must not have paid very good attention during health class, because i did not realize i would bleed for weeks. (a bit personal, i know, but a truth about motherhood that i did not know.)
* breastfeeding might be natural, but it is definitely NOT easy & often times it can be painful
* hemorrhoids, ‘nuf said!
* your boobs will never be perfect again… they’ll get super huge (& probably painful while engorged), & then they’ll shrink down, practically becoming indentations.
* just because you carried the baby for nine months, doesn’t mean you can soothe & quiet them when they are screaming bloody murder, for hours & hours on end.
* sometimes, you’ll go days without showering. a pony tail will become your new ‘do, a hat your new best friend, & you can go hours without realizing you haven’t eaten anything.
* finding the energy & time to do all the things you “used” to do isn’t going to be easy
* sleeping more than 2 hours in a row should be considered a luxury
* getting the time & energy to clean the house, fold the laundry, or load the dishwasher will make you feel like you’ve won the lottery
* counting the number of wet & dirty diapers will become your new hobby
* you’ll find yourself thinking “of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It’s amazing how the day fills up. (especially when you are feeding the baby every 6 units!)”via about a boy.
* in the end, holding your little baby, seeing them smile, hearing them laugh… will make you forget everything else, as though it never happened, & make you willing to possibly, do it all over again.
edited to add:
* i always knew i was going to breastfeed, i just was never prepared for how much i could (and would) leak. i didn’t realize that i could soak through my shirt, even while wearing a nursing pad.
* i wasn’t prepared for being man-handled by everyone. i didn’t realize that i would also get used to totally strangers grabbing & “feeling up” my boobs.

so, your turn. what are some of the truths about motherhood that you wished someone had told you? what’s the real scoop on motherhood?

4 comments
Kim @ HealthyNest
Kim @ HealthyNest

So, so, so, so true. Great post. Thank you. I know I'm a little late, but I just stumbled across this now. :)

Elisabeth
Elisabeth

I'm new to your blog and I already feel a kinship with you as I'm a mother and trying to get BACK into running. I've made this my year to run my first marathon. 1st I really didn't like being pregnant. While the feeling of kicking was cool at first, that feeling swiftly dissolved the moment my son swiftly kicked my pelvis that resulted in a pain that felt like my lady bits exploded. 2nd I resolved to only have 1 child. Many people (even my own family) have criticized me for this decision like I'm doing a huge disservice to my child.... except I know my limits and with a husband in the military I don't want to be overwhelmed any more than I am. 3rd You'd think that being a stay at home mom I'd have all the time in the world to do the hobbies I once enjoyed. Truth be told, my days are spent cleaning our home twice a day, doing the never-ending load of laundry, and entertaining my toddler whose expectations exceed my energy levels. Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

Mona
Mona

Hello.. i came across your blog looking for dyi ornaments. Love yours btw... Anyways, I feel the same way as you do about motherhood. Its sometimes hard to explain to people even my friends how i feel. When it comes out of my mouth, I sound like the biggest jerk. So thanks for this :)

sheri
sheri

I really like your blog - so glad I discovered it through SITS! I especially enjoyed this post - so honest, heartfelt and REAL. And I LOVE your crafts! What a find - consider me your newest fan!

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