so… let’s start by acknowledging the elephant in the room. i’m going to do it quick & to the point – just like you would rip off a band aid. 
hi, my name is kelly & i have postpartum depression.
if i had to venture a guess, i’m betting my big announcement doesn’t surprise anyone at all. in fact, you all probably saw it coming. but after 1 year, 1 month & 13 days, i figured it’s time i came out of the closet.
i’ve never claimed to be super-mom. & i’m the first to admit that i’m far from perfect. but once upon a time, i at least felt like i had life figured out. these days, ppd has definitely thrown a wrench in the well-oiled-machine, i once called my life… sending me into an out-of-control, downward spiral.
over the past year i have dug myself a hole so deep, sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever be able to climb back out. having a baby is supposed to be a joyous occasion… & it was. it’s just the aftermath, i’m not so sure about. when i think about it, it’s actually kind of funny – i’m surrounded by the chaos of three young children every single day & yet i’ve never felt so alone. for the past year i’ve watched life happen as an observer, instead of an active participant. slowly but surely, i’ve managed to shut everyone out, & burn every bridge along the way. activities i used to love, hobbies i used to look forward to, now just seem like a burden. not to mention, these days i find myself totally & completely unmotivated, out-of-touch, & overwhelmed… i dread getting out of bed in the morning, & am constantly feeling like life has given up on me, or maybe i’m the one who has given up on life.
i’ve been living life in a deep, dark tunnel, constantly trying to reach that itty bitty light i see peeping through. the drugs have helped a bit (prescribed of course), taking the edge off & making the light a wee bit more obtainable. running has helped more. but, hopefully opening up, putting it all out there, & wearing my heart on my sleeve will be that final dose of reality i need. i’m slowly learning – i can’t do this on my own. over the past year i’ve managed to build a fortress around myself, an incredible thing that rivals the great wall of china. i can’t expect it to come down overnight can i? but, with a little help from my friends, perhaps this fortress of mine will come tumbling down.
wow. i’m feeling better already. let the healing begin.
image via anne taintor
{ 107 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel for you! I’m a PPD survivor as well. It is so so hard and I hope you will remember to ask for help when you need it. I’m sure you already know this since you live in SoCal but this past May was California’s first Perinatal Depression Awareness Month. Such an important issue and I’m glad it is finally getting some recognition so people don’t have to suffer in silence. Take good care of yourself!!!
-Amy
Crafting by Candlelight
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:13 am
I had no idea about it being perinatal depression awareness month. it definitely needs to become more recognized. there is such a stigma attached to it!
hi kelly! i came looking for some crafting instructions…so glad you’re feeling a bit better and releasing this burden. i love the way you write and the new look!
-jen
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:12 am
ahhh. i hope it wasn’t too overpowering. you come looking for crafts & get slammed in the face with my crazy reality!
Hang in there !!
I think it is good you talk about it. when I lived in the NW I suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder…I am sure of it. The healing began once I started talking about it. Take care and know that many poeple are supporting you!!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:11 am
i’m really feeling the love. thank you!
Sending big squishy hugs my friend. xoxo
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:11 am
your the best!
Aw, Kelly! You are so NOT alone! Even if it feels that way. I am so glad you are reaching out. Allow your friends to help. Give the meds time. You have a LOT going on with three young kids and your website. Be kind to yourself and know that you WILL get past this. You will.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:11 am
you’re right. i WILL get past this! nothing like a little positive thinking…
First of all, it says a lot about you that you are willing to admit it to the whole blog world. I think that’s a step in the right direction. PPD is actually a lot more common than people may realize, so you’re far from alone.
I know you don’t know me very well, but I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to.
-Angela
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:10 am
angela – you are so sweet. thank you for your offer, & more than likely, i’ll probably talk you up on it. i feel like i should be doing a lot of talking these days to work through this!
I am a survivor of a long fight with depression. I was in the dark hole for 7 years now out for 8 years. Yes, talking about it will help! Glad to announce my depression didn’t win the fight! You’re a winner. xo
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:09 am
i look forward to the day i can make the same claim – that depression didn’t win this fight!
*hugs* Hang in there sweets, it’ll get better!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:08 am
thank you!
Kelly, I want to send you a virtual hug and have it do something positive. Having folks tell you that you’re amazing probably doesn’t do the trick, but maybe it feels good for a minute.
You’re awesome. Good luck!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:08 am
no, YOUR awesome. thank you for being an inspiration to me!
There’s nothing quite as awesome as postpartum depression. And trying to explain it to people is even more fun.
The good news? With a little help from your friends {support} and a little help from drugs {I take more than one anti-depressant} and some coping strategies? You can make it. And eventually, you come out of the tunnel.
Brave for sharing. Hang in there, I’m more than happy to help along the way.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:08 am
drugs are always good, aren’t they?! just wish they were the kind that made me feel loopy!
Aw, Kelly…you and me both. I had the worst 6 months of my life after my daughter was born and I felt so ashamed and ungrateful for the miracle we had received. We had tried for so long to get pregnant and, when I finally got the what I had wished for, I felt like I just couldn’t cope. Our baby girl had colic, which would have been diffifult even for those super-moms out there. I was withdrawn, emotional, irritable and completely resentful of my husband, who seemed to handle everything like a champ.
I, too, was prescribed medication but I also joined a local support group here in Texas which helped immensely. Ultimately, the cure for me was returning to work outside of the home. It sounds terrible even now that I was blessed to have the option to be a full-time SAHM and turned it down but I just don’t think it was for me. Working outside of the house has given me back a sense of self and independence that I felt I lost after having a child. My daughter is thriving in her environment and, instead of dreading the painful hours each day at home, I now cherish every waking moment I spend with her.
I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I know that you will come out of this on the other side stronger and more capable that ever.
xoxo
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:07 am
it is so nice to know that i’m not alone in this battle. it’s a crazy thing. having had two other kids, ppd was the last thing on my mind. i’m so inspired by you. it would be so hard to have it the first time around!
Twitter: mobrownsuga
June 15, 2010 at 11:00 am
Well, I’ve seen THIS site before:) Looking good lady. I am so glad you opened up about your struggles and pain. It allows some love to come your way. Take it and know we all care about you. So glad you were in front of me at SITS today girl.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:06 am
ah girl! you are such a sweet heart. you have helped me in SOOO many ways. this past “remodel” has been so theraputic. thank you for everything!
Kelly I wish I could just give you a big hug! Hang in there sister. I had a horrible case of postpartum that lasted over a year after Mikey was born. It was horrible. A very dark place and I felt so alone! I think I finally came out of it once I talked to other women about it.. I am so glad you were brave enough to share what you are experiencing. Big hugs xox0oxo!
Aracely
Kelly!! I have been reading your blog for a long time (2 years) and think so highly of you. Even if you aren’t “super mom” you are super inspiring to me and I hope to have even an ounce of the life that you live with your husband and family.
I don’t have children yet, so, I can’t claim to understand PPD, but, I understand that it must be a terrible thing, a sad burden and I’m so glad that you’re opening yourself up.
Just know that there’s a whole mess of bloggers out there who love you and want only the best!
Please don’t hestitate to ask us for help. Even if you need a funny video of me walking into a wall or something (am very clumsy), I’m happy to help.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:04 am
you are the best! i’ve missed you these last few months… & i’ll take a funny video of you anytime!
Twitter: mmdrama
June 15, 2010 at 11:46 am
I think writing about it will help a lot. I suffered too after I had my almost 3 year old son – it was hard. We had moved away from our family and friends and didn’t have any help. Honestly, for me, going back to work got me out of the ppd (that and Zoloft with Wellbutrin). I know it’s hard when you have no adult contact!
Blogging/writing/communicating with other women will really help a lot. I started my blog last winter after getting into a pretty severe case of seasonal depression. Winters are hard for me for many reasons and I had extra drama on top of the regular holiday stress. Hang in there – it will get better!!
Momma Drama´s last [type] ..Corn on the Cob Anyone?
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:04 am
thank you! thank you! thank you! it’s nice to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because I certainly can’t see it right now!
Big hugs to you Kelly. I have to say you never ever fail to impress me, depressed or not. Your energy, your go-getterness (I’m inventing this term for you, you know) and your zest. Having struggled with the same I know it’s not about what you are doing but about how you *feel* while doing it. Life without joy is like food without flavor. I applaud you for all you are doing and wish you all the sugar and spice back in the mix soon.
You really are an awesome friend, mother, entrepreneur, crafter, writer, mother and really deserve to feel great about it. If I can ever bring some sunshine (or a cheap laugh… I’m good for that!) on a bad day, a good day, any old day, in any way, you know I’m here!
Ciaran/Momfluential´s last [type] ..Remember that iPad I won? For Me?
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:03 am
you are always such an inspiration to me! thank you!
Glad you came out
. Maybe there are people out there better equipped to help you than I, but I’m always here with a listening ear.
And BTW, love the new blog design.
this is carrie´s last [type] ..Goodbye Hair
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:02 am
you’ve been great through it all. stuck by me even if i was crazy, uninspiring & not fun to be with!
Oh no. Good for you for getting it out there. That said, DUDE you get a lot done when you aren’t even feeling good? New websites? New stuff? All that running? Holy cow, girl, SLOW DOWN and smell the roses! Tell hubby to book you a massage!
Kristi Davis´s last [type] ..Emotional Piano Music You Will Die For
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:02 am
hahaha! i feel lie i’m on total slow mo right now. my to-do list keeps getting longer, & yet i never seem to cross anything off.
Kelly, i’m so proud of u for coming out about this. Being a mom and drowning in their lives, instead of keeping up on your own is a hard thing to accept. i hope u continue to climb that ladder. i know many will share their trials with u. ur not alone!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:01 am
i never ever realized that being me, would be so hard! coming out has helped, but it’s never easy to talk about depression!
It’s brave of you to come out and I’m proud of you. I don’t have experience with PPD but I know D. Like I said in my email, I’m here for you.
Also, I love this song lyric: “Will the fight for sanity be the fight of our lives?” And to me, it is. My fight against depression is the hardest and most important fight of my life. You are such a strong and amazing woman, I know you can do it. Love!
brenna´s last [type] ..Good day today. Thai food for lunch, unexpected manicure and…
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 4:00 am
you are really and truly one of the strongest, most amazing women i know. i am so lucky to have you in my life!
I wish I would have thought about blogging about my PPD, but that was about 4 years ago and I was afraid to admit that I struggled so much after my son was born. Good for you for reaching out–it does get better after but I know those feelings of being in a dark tunnel. Oh, it’s awful. I hope that everything is up from here!!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:59 am
how long did it take you to come out of your tunnel?
Kell… oh your post makes me so sad! I’m always here for you
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:58 am
thanks love!
I recognize everything you said here. It’s a very real, terrifying disease. I first experienced depression almost thirty years ago, and, although I now know there were lots of us, I felt like I was the only one. It was so difficult to explain to others, and lots of people thought I should just snap out of it. Or they said things like, “I’m too busy to be depressed,” or “You’re too busy—no wonder you’re depressed.” I felt like I was fighting for my life, and I got suggestions like, “think positive.” After a while, I stopped confiding in them.
Building that wall was my first defense, too. I needed to protect myself from being judged and I didn’t know who I could trust. It’s a sign that you’re getting better when you’re able to talk about it. I went for almost a year before I got medication, and it took another year to find the right combination and dosage, but then I slowly started to feel normal again. Luckily, the meds are much more effective now. Every once in a while I’ve gone off the Rx, and usually I can’t tell that I’m slipping back into the darkness, but those around me can. I’m sure I’ll take them all my life, and I’m thrilled they are available to me.
A depression doesn’t take away your talents and abilities, it just takes away your enjoyment of them. The people on the outside see all the things you’re accomplishing and can’t believe there’s anything wrong, even though you feel like you’re in a dark room, paralyzed by the fear that you’ll never feel joy again. But you will. And in the meantime, you are loving and caring for your kids, and they are growing up happy and unaware. Give the meds time to work, and one day soon you’ll realize you’ve got yourself back.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:58 am
i love what you said about depression not taking away my talents, just my enjoyment of them… it makes me feel like there still might be hope for me!
dearest kelly, i’m soooo glad you finally came out! really, i have told you forever that you need to talk…talk to me, talk to jeff, talk to you girlfriends (especially them)…let it out….and maybe you will still feel down, but it helps so much…i know from experience when dad was sick…you have to talk it out…it’s a hard thing, being depressed…i haven’t experienced it as bad as you but i have had it and it sucks! but, you are strong and you can beat it…just open up to others…you don’t have to be super mom….you’ll enjoy life alot more if you’re not…it takes alot of the stress away….not having to be perfect…but, in reality you are perfect…you’re my fantastic oldest child…the one that led the way…and still are…you are so talented, beautiful, fun, artistic, creative, a person that i would like even if you weren’t my daughter…someone that i look up to and think ‘i want to be like her when i grow up’…love you always…mom
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:57 am
thanks for always being there mom, you’re the best!
First, Super mom is a myth. Second, opening up the way you just did is great– see how many women have been in the same boat? You are soooo not alone in this!
While I’ve never struggled with PPD personally, I know lots of my friends have. And eventhough I’ve never been in the throes of it, I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel alone eventhough you are with your children. {This is where being in a MOPS group has helped me immensely. You can find a group in your area at http://www.mops.org. I don’t work for them or anything, I just happen to really love my group.
}
Patricia L´s last [type] ..Reverse Sillhouettes
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:57 am
the word super mom should be outlawed, seriously! & great suggestion… i should look into mops!
Kelly: Good for you for writing this. I know it’s been on your heart for a while. I do think getting it out into the light will help and it looks like people are reaching out to help already.
More women than people think go through depression and anxiety. The more we talk about it, the less power it has over our lives.
Suz
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:56 am
thank you for you love & support suz, and for putting up with me!
Kelly, I’m so sorry you are having such a difficult time. This thing called depression is awful and unless you have lived through it you don’t get it. Luckily though, through the many comments it looks as though you have many supporters who have lived through this and understand what you are going through. I take medication for depression and have for almost 30 years, but at times found that wasn’t enough and went to counseling as well. I found this to be of great help as long as it was the right counselor. Sometimes it takes both. But I think being able to talk about the disease and know there are others who understand and that you are not alone is also of great help. Always know that there are people who love you and are willing to help at anytime. love, aunt polly
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:55 am
ahhh… did my mom put you up to this? a counselor? that would involve talking. & i don’t do talking very well.
Hugs my beautiful friend. I’m so glad you are able to talk about it. You are a powerhouse lady. You will get through this. Love ya. Adore your new blog design too.
TONYA´s last [type] ..GOURMET PIZZA
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:55 am
thank you. i am currently wishing you lived closer!
Yeah for talking about it! Putting it out there! How else can you have people support you when you don’t?! Parenting is hard enough without having to deal with depression, too!
Though this issue deals with raising a teen, the message is right up your street! Plus, there are other great articles by other women struggling, too!
http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2010/01/13/a-mother-and-her-masks/
bluecottonmemory´s last [type] ..All Grown Up!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:54 am
parenting is hard, seriously! i can’t wait to read the posts you suggested. thank you!
Kelly,
Supermoms are the worst. Who made them supermoms anyway? Why do we do that to ourselves. They’re totally not real. And the truth is, you are superMOM to Charlie, Owen and Gavin… gimmee a break. They worship the ground you walk on just by default. God made it that way on purpose, you just have to love back and the relationship is made. It’s revamping and all this ever changing stuff that happens to us moms. It is hard to be so up and down hormonally, physically, mentally. It is a bad boat ride that I often want to get off and just be that cute babe on the beach for a while. It really sucks to always be manipulating your life around motherhood. It doesn’t always work… my biggest struggle in life is giving myself up to just be a mom. I don’t think I have to give it all up ALL the time, but it really is a huge sacrifice that I have to make every day, (isn’t that sad?) And I feel like I have to recreate myself with each new phase of childhood. My outlet is always changing. I could read a lot when the twinks were little, but not so much any more. I could set up the sewing machine a couple weeks ago, but there’s no way I can do it during the summer. And what about traveling, photography, floral arranging, my marathon… I mean I have a list of things that I’m dying to do. I hate having to put myself on hold like that. Especially when the person next door doesn’t have to. It’s so hard. Dealing with that as well as having something in your body bringing you so down, does not help! I’m so sorry. You’re not alone. You’re a part of a big club. You’ll make it through, for sure.
You’re still inspiring the runner in me, and one day it will really be a reality. Give us ten years and maybe we can run a race together. No kids, no nursing boobs, no pregnant bellies. Just the amazing flubby leftovers with half a brain on the loose. It sounds fun.
Till then, hang in there.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:53 am
heed – i LOVE you. thank you!
Ohhh my friend, I’m so happy that you were finally able to open up and get this out. It has been quite the year. Now if we could get those muscles of yours to heal too.
I think this is going to be a great summer especially after our conversation today!
Julie {Angry Julie Monday}´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday: Meeting Peter Facinelli at Disney
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:53 am
so excited for all our “plans”
I think this post is a huge step towards your healing! And for what it’s worth, I find you to be one of the most creative and FABULOUS women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet! xoxo
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:52 am
thank you for all the compliments, but seriously – you met me for all of 5 seconds… i’m a pretty good pretender for 5 seconds!
You stupid whore shutup and get back in the kitchen. See what happens when we let women use computers.?
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:51 am
ahhh! thanks for the encouragement. i guess there’s always a hater.
sorry I have to comment again! wow! who was that last commenter?! Anyway I loved Heidi’s comments, just have to say that- sometimes things do have to be put on hold, but life is long and that’s the beauty of it, you don’t have to do everything right now. Just roll along and learn from everything you are experiencing! Heidi has lots of wisdom! loved reading what she had to say.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:50 am
so true… sometimes we feel like we have to (& want to) do everything right this very second.
The year after I had Grace was the darkest of my life. SO many of us can relate to that gnarly, awful place you’re in right now. But it DOES get better! And you can do it!
Glad you’re back to blogging. You were missed!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:50 am
thank you for the encouragement. i know i’m not alone, but sometimes it sure does feel like it.
I am so sorry, Kelly. It is so hard having three tiny kids – they need and take so much that at the end of the day, there’s not much left for yourself. Trust me when I tell you, it does get better. As soon as you get one or two in school, your life will drastically improve. You just have to hang in there until then. Get out with girlfriends. Go see movies by yourself. Shop. Do all of these things with no kids in tow. It will help recharge your batteries a bit to give you the strength to deal with it when you get back. You are doing a good job and should pat yourself on the back.
P.S. Love the new blog – gorgeous!
Christie´s last [type] ..His thirty-eighth
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:46 am
thanks for all the advice! & i love hearing that it will get better. life really is good… except for the damn depression, not wanting to do anything & total lack of motivation!
glad you’re back kelly, you’re so brave for talking about your pain. i hope blogging can help get you out. your blog looks amazing!!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:45 am
thanks for all the compliments leslie! i’ve missed you!
Thanks for sharing. I know there are so many people online who love you and don’t even know you, like me. I hope blogging helps you with healing. Blessings to you.
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 3:44 am
thank you! thank you! you have no idea how much your kind words mean to me!
Twitter: MyFavEverything
June 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Thank you for sharing such a hard post!! You are a beautiful and amazing person! I’m honored to have met you and have loved getting to know you! As much as you feel you are on the side lines, you are so absolutely inspiring to me with your 3 little ones and all that you keep rolling!! I hope you’ll come over for shrimp tacos and play time soon! My door is always open!!
Huge hugs to you!!
xo Shanna
Shanna – My Favorite Everything´s last [type] ..travel tips you say…
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 2:31 am
thank you for the sweet, kind words! YOU are the beautiful & amazing person. i am lucky to know you.
Kelly…I can’t even imagine how difficult it was to share this…As a mom of two little ones, I understand how challenging and overwhelming it can be. While I’ve never personally experienced ppd, I have experienced the stress, loneliness and demands of having a husband with a very difficult job that keeps him away from us many weeks out of the month. If I can ever be there for you…to talk…please let me know….I know we don’t live that far away…
Caryn B´s last [type] ..Get Up and Move With Sid!
Twitter: according2kelly
June 19, 2010 at 2:29 am
Caryn I can’t even imagine having two little ones & hubby away from home… you inspire me. Thankyou!
Twitter: mamabub
June 19, 2010 at 2:52 pm
I’m so glad you’re writing about this, for yourself and for everyone else whose postpartum experience isn’t like what movies/books/television would have you believe. Having just had my second baby, and spending more time than not dissolving into tears, I can understand on a tiny, tiny scale what you’re going through.
I suffered as well. Wow you’re a trooper for holding out that long. I remember the cycle of crying, telling myself I should be happy and have nothing to cry about, which made me cry cuz I felt bad about crying. It IS terrible exhausting. I am proud of you for stepping out of the dark.
Twitter: EmmieJ
June 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm
You’re awesome. Thanks for sharing this. I had PPD with my first but honestly didn’t even realize that was the problem until much later. I’m so proud of you for being open about this. I hope things get better and in the meantime, just know I think the world of you and I know you’re helping others with PPD by talking about it. <3
EmmieJ´s last [type] ..Three Fathers
Twitter: modchik
June 23, 2010 at 7:18 pm
Ahhh Kelly we most definitely HAVE to get together, I know you are probably a stone’s throw from my house. We have lots in common and were stronger in numbers. I really look forward to the day we get to connect IRL until then keep fighting the GOOD battle and remember one thing for sure … the sun WILL rise again tomorrow. ((HUGS))
Lindsey (aka modchik)´s last [type] ..Drinks, Dogs and Delicious Food
Oh I can so relate. I feel like the last two years have merely been about survival. I have recently just begun wondering if I should find something to take. It is hard being at home with a bunch of small children, but it is also something I am so thankful I can do.
I hope you find a way to feel better, and I hope I do too!
Sonora´s last [type] ..Why won’t this come off?
PPD, you mean theres a name for this, the way ive been feeling! My gosh your post has me in tears, and all these comments! Could I have PPD even if my baby is already 18 months old! I see myself in your post and alot of these comments! Im so afraid of meds, how do I get help, where do I start! I want to begin living my life again, not jst watching it float by! Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you!
Twitter: according2kelly
July 12, 2010 at 10:14 am
oh Yvonne! I am so so so sorry! I wish I could reach out there & just give you a hug! We are all in this together. & YES! it could be ppd, even if your baby isn’t quite a baby anymore!
Just stumbled on your website (so creative!) and then this post and wow… can I relate. I didn’t realize I had postpartum depression until I was back to work, more than one year later. So I’m healing too and feel like talking about it and reading about it is all so very therapeutic.
Love your blog
and hang in there!
First of all… a few posts up in the comments from “Judge Dread” – I was shocked that someone would say that. DON’T click on it, it needs to be deleted. It is a very inappropriate site you do NOT want to go to.
Second, I too suffered and am still suffering. I went over a year with it before getting help after practically tearing my family to shreds. It is an awful feeling and something that can hardly be explained. It will get better.
Thank you for writing this. It took me 18 months after I had my first son to admit I was suffering from PPD. It’s really nice to see I’m not the only one and I wish you the best of luck.
I just came across your blog today because of the holiday crafting bonanza and I’m so glad that I stayed to read more of your posts. I’m 2 weeks away from giving birth to my 3rd child and am trying to gear myself up for the challenges. Just the other night I tried to explain to my husband about how my independence will be seriously cutback once this baby is born–no more perusing through stacks of fabric at the store, no more leisurely reading–I will be lucky to be able to stay awake long enough to read a runners world article, I will be housebound for at least 2 months unless we are going to relatives’ houses for dinner, and the baby will not be unattached from me for more than 2 hrs for quite some time–all while having a 22 mos old and almost 4 yr old to raise. It is quite daunting and I’m not sure he gets the challenges we face. Right now I’m just trying to get in some “me” time, some one-on-one time in with my kids and a little bit of couple time all while trying to finish projects that should have been done months ago. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t have to do it all and I shouldn’t believe that I NEED to do it all. Good luck in your recovery progress.