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the truth about motherhood.

by @according2kelly on July 9, 2009

going on month number two in little charlie’s life, i still find myself pretty much housebound. that’s right, i haven’t quite gotten the hang of taking three kids out on the town. & as much as i’d prefer to be crafting, holding my little baby, doesn’t leave much time for projects. so, these days i find myself watching lots of tv. did you happen to catch oprah’s the truth about motherhood episode? maybe it’s just the stage (of life) i’m in right now, but i swear the entire show was the extension of an on-going conversation playing inside my head. everything they said, i could totally relate to… “oprah is saluting moms everywhere and letting them know they have support. ‘we hear from mothers all the time who say they feel alone. they feel overwhelmed; they feel sometimes inadequate. and you say you’re afraid to admit the truth for fear of bing judge,” oprah says. ‘so today we’re creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes.”

when they said “the expectations we have on ourselves is completely unrealistic. this generation of women was raised to believe that we should and could do it all… and that list (of expectations) is so huge that we think if we can’t live up to that, then we’re not good moms.” i wanted to shout: AMEN! & i couldn’t agree more with the idea that “the one universal truth about motherhood seems to be that no one ever tells you what to really expect.” so, today, i too am “creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes”. & although i LOVE being a mom, (i really, really do!), sometimes, i wish i had been more prepared for motherhood, if you know what i mean. so, here are some of the truths about motherhood, that no one remembered to tell me. maybe someone else can benefit, or possibly at least relate…

* every woman doesn’t LOVE being prego. there definitely are some women who do, but i wasn’t one of them. i hated getting fat, i never had that “pregnancy glow”. all in all, pregnancy isn’t exactly my favorite stage in life.
* recovery AFTER the delivery can sometimes be harder, and worse, than the actual delivery. (i was put on bed rest for 6 weeks after i had gavin.)
* stay in the hospital as long as possible. you might be bored & lonely, but when you go home, you’re on your own. at least in the hospital you can call a nurse for help.
* i must not have paid very good attention during health class, because i did not realize i would bleed for weeks. (a bit personal, i know, but a truth about motherhood that i did not know.)
* breastfeeding might be natural, but it is definitely NOT easy & often times it can be painful
* hemorrhoids, ‘nuf said!
* your boobs will never be perfect again… they’ll get super huge (& probably painful while engorged), & then they’ll shrink down, practically becoming indentations.
* just because you carried the baby for nine months, doesn’t mean you can soothe & quiet them when they are screaming bloody murder, for hours & hours on end.
* sometimes, you’ll go days without showering. a pony tail will become your new ‘do, a hat your new best friend, & you can go hours without realizing you haven’t eaten anything.
* finding the energy & time to do all the things you “used” to do isn’t going to be easy
* sleeping more than 2 hours in a row should be considered a luxury
* getting the time & energy to clean the house, fold the laundry, or load the dishwasher will make you feel like you’ve won the lottery
* counting the number of wet & dirty diapers will become your new hobby
* you’ll find yourself thinking “of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It’s amazing how the day fills up. (especially when you are feeding the baby every 6 units!)”via about a boy.
* in the end, holding your little baby, seeing them smile, hearing them laugh… will make you forget everything else, as though it never happened, & make you willing to possibly, do it all over again.
edited to add:
* i always knew i was going to breastfeed, i just was never prepared for how much i could (and would) leak. i didn’t realize that i could soak through my shirt, even while wearing a nursing pad.
* i wasn’t prepared for being man-handled by everyone. i didn’t realize that i would also get used to totally strangers grabbing & “feeling up” my boobs.

so, your turn. what are some of the truths about motherhood that you wished someone had told you? what’s the real scoop on motherhood?


i’m starting to develop a complex.

by @according2kelly on June 26, 2009

yes, i realize that i just had a baby. yes, i realize that she was my third baby. yes, i realize that my body isn’t just going to bounce back. these are all truths that i’ve accepted. however, i’m starting to develop just a bit of a complex, courtesy of my four year old gavin. case, or rather, cases in point…

* the day after i had charlie, the boys came to visit me in the hospital. at one point, i got up out of bed & immediately gavin said “oh good mom! you’re almost skinny again.”
* recently i bribed my kids with the promise of mickey d’s happy meals (yes, i am that mom). we were waiting in the drive thru, when gavin randomly announced “mom, you can’t eat mcdonald’s. it will make you fat.” funny thing is, he doesn’t think the rule applies to him.
* just yesterday, gavin was giving the babysitter a tour of our house. when he got to our office, where my bike is set up on the trainer, gavin told her “& this is the bike my mom has to ride to make her skinnier.”

if this keeps up, & gavin continues to be more concerned (than i am) about how skinny i am, i don’t know if i’ll have the nerve to get into a bathing suit this summer. personally, i’ve been pretty thrilled with my recovery, but gavin’s got me doubting myself. oh heavens!


before & after.

by @according2kelly on June 16, 2009

six weeks later, i am still amazed that i am no longer pregnant & that my little girl is finally here – ready to be cuddled & loved. as you can imagine, i don’t get much done these days because most of my time is spent, simply staring at her. & although i usually try to avoid the camera’s lens while pregnant, i have to admit i’m glad i was talked into encouraged to do THIS photo shoot. now i can always remember the before & after.

images via ana brandt


she’s done cooking.

by @according2kelly on May 5, 2009

almost every day for the past nine months, gavin has asked the same question “is the baby done cooking yet?” after months of anticipation & preparation, we can finally answer “YES!” but, if you’ve been following me on twitter, you probably already knew that. (missed the play-by-play action? you can catch up on all the recent happenings HERE.) anyway, without further ado, i’m pleased to introduce you to our little bundle of joy…

charlie (charlotte) mae. born saturday, may 2, 2009. 2:20 pm. 7 lbs. & 19 inches.

the boys are already smitten with her (as are we!), so it looks like we are going to keep her. & i might be a tad biased, but one look at her chubby cheeks, button nose, rosebud lips & mini fro-hawk and i can pretty much guarantee – she will melt your heart.


today’s the day.

by @according2kelly on May 2, 2009

yep! yep! the BIG day is finally here. it’s amazing – even with a deadline, i still don’t feel ready. and yet, the fact that i can no longer see my toes tells me otherwise. i did manage to get almost everything done on my ginormous list of to-dos (which might help explain my lack of posts lately). the nursery is kinda done (i’m not sure i LOVE it yet, but we wre getting there), i finally bought some diapers, there are lots of frozen meals in the freezer, my bag is packed, the cameras are charged, car seat is installed… it’s time to pop this baby out.

so, i might be just a bit busy over the nexy few days… if you don’t hear from me, no worries. in the meantime, if you happen to miss me, check me out HERE on twitter – i’m sure i’ll have lots to say.


pictures of my big, fat, pregnant belly.

by @according2kelly on April 7, 2009

this is a picture of me, my big ‘ole belly, & if you squint really hard you can kinda see my shoes way down there. i guess it’s kind of a good thing, because i still can, kinda see my toes peeking out beyond my belly… just a smidge. with only weeks to go, i’ve been pretty good at avoiding the camera lens. but all that is going to come to an end. against my better judgment, but at the request of THIS wonderful lady, i’m going to do something i swore i never would do… a pregnancy photo session. i have to admit, i haven’t got the slightest idea of what i’m getting myself into, but i’m sure it’ll be fun. i can’t promise i’ll share the pictures with the world via the internet, i’m not sure i’m that brave, but you never know. i just might surprise you. heck! i never thought i’d let anyone take pictures of my big, fat, pregnant belly & here i am, doing just that… so anything can happen.



by @according2kelly on April 2, 2009

her walls are still (& probably will remain) a boring shade of beige. the recently purchased dresser is still powder blue & there isn’t a whole lot hanging in her closet. but yesterday, i did manage to hang a quilt on the wall, silently proclaiming the room “hers”. granted, i’m not promising that this particular quilt will stay on the wall, i am retaining the right to possibly make a change, depending on how this quilt turns out. but for now, it’ll due. so, just in case you were starting to worry that she was going to make her grand entrance into this world, & i wasn’t going to be prepared (because let’s face it, you might not be worried about that, but i certainly am)… i am still taking those “baby steps”, slowly, ever so slowly i’m making progress.


just in case you doubted me…

by @according2kelly on March 25, 2009

just in case you thought there was a slight possibility that i was exaggerating just a touch regrading my current mental state – here’s some proof. randomly & totally out of the blue, this week i decided i needed to sew a quilt for the baby. mind you, i’ve already sewn one quilt & several blankets. what i really should be working on is stocking her boudoir with clothes, that she might actually wear. but no, the bee in my bonnet insisted i sew another quilt… i was a little worried that my the other quilt i had made was a bit too girly – because it had purple & pink in it, gasp! so, i thought i needed another, more subtle-ly pink quilt. anyway, long story short – i sewed the quilt. but, when all was said & done, there were two patchwork squares driving me crazy. one square had two pieces of the exact same fabric touching at the corners (yes! just the corners were touching). the other square had two pieces of the exact same fabric separated by only one small square. when i actually thought about it, i knew i was being crazy. hello?! the ENTIRE quilt is patchwork. lots of different fabrics going on there. no one would ever notice, except for me. & yet, all day long, i kept looking at that quilt, letting those two little squares eat me up inside. until finally, i picked up my trusty seam reaper, un-picked my way to those devilish little squares & fixed the problem. when i was done, i really & truly felt like i could breathe again.

believe me now? i’m definitely on the fast-track to the funny farm. hopefully this baby arrives before i make it the entire way.

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by @according2kelly on March 23, 2009

i think i’m crazy. really & truly, i’m pretty sure that i’m certifiably insane. don’t believe me? just ask my family. i doubt they’d have any problem locking me up & throwing away the key these days. as a means of protecting YOU from my lunacy, i haven’t been posting very much lately… i wouldn’t want to scare you away, but i just don’t think i can hide it anymore.

my mother always warned me that the third baby killed her, & i’m starting to see what she means. besides being crazy, i’m grumpy & crabby all the time. my body & health are shot – when i’m not hobbling around like a 90 year old woman, i’m coughing up a lung. recently, the coughing has gotten so bad i’ve resorted to sleeping on the couch downstairs, in hopes that some distance will let everyone else in the family sleep. i haven’t cooked in weeks, possibly even months. it’s sad that my four-year old’s response to “what do you want to eat?” results in a long list of restaurants. my house is a disaster… moving the boys into one room has erupted into an explosion of “stuff” that has slowly taken over everything. it literally looks like a bomb has gone off. i’ve pretty much lost control of everything these days, including my bladder.

& while i’m sure you’re ready to agree i’m definitely toeing the line with sanity, the only thing keep me on this side of sane quite possibly is “the list”. you know, that incredibly long list of things that need to get done before the baby comes. my list is probably as long as santa’s, which is a touch overwhelming. but remember, these days i’m living simply. so, instead of looking at the big, huge, daunting picture, i’m taking things one day at a time. hopefully, i’ll be able to learn & thing or two from bob, as i practice my “baby steps”.

hopefully i haven’t scared you off yet. hopefully you’ll come back tomorrow. but just in case you are sick of my complaining, tired of listening to me rant & would probably agree that i’m crazy – check back in a month or so, i’m hoping by then i’ll be back to my normal self.

image via here.


bathing beauty?

by @according2kelly on February 17, 2009

outside the sky is dark & the rain is coming down so hard, i actually think it might be time to start building my ark. and yet, i find myself dragging (or did i actually waddle?) my extremely round, extremely large, extremely pregnant self out to the car to go…. bathing suit shopping.

have i lost my mind? not exactly the self-esteem booster that i am desperately in need of! but, with both my doctor & chiropractor forbidding me from participating in pretty much anything that slightly resembles exercise (cycling, running, even yoga), i’m going just a wee bit crazy. so, i’ve decided to attempt swimming. notice, i said attempt. i’m not exactly the strongest of swimmers, but i’m hoping all this extra “insulation” i’ve been carrying around the last couple of months will make me a little more buoyant. if anything, i’ll be the talk of the gym, as i strut my stuff… at least i won’t be sporting an “itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini”. although, i do find myself wishing i could look as glamorous as these lovely ladies. wonder where i can myself a ruffled swim cap and matching swim suit?

image via flickr.